This one chick at gamestop

Having the next couple days off i decide to head over to the local gamestop to puchase a new video game for me to waste my life playing.

Now, as soon as i arrive the first thing i notice is the woman working the counter. This woman, is no woman at all, she is a monster. She had to weigh, at least 600 pounds, after starving herself for three days. She's covered in disgusting tattoo's. Tattoo's that look like they are just dying to get off this body full of processed meats and peanut butter. One tattoo was a crying clown, and i am not entirely sure it was crying the day that it was drawn on her. but after years of wanting to kill himself, all the clown could muster were a few tears. Her mouth was full of piercings. Not your everyday sexy girl piercings, but strange pieces of metal. Metal i am not sure where it came from. It looked dirty and jagged. I have heard, that women get mouth and tongue piercings to help stimulate a man during oral sex, but this mouth i was staring at was never meant to come in contact with a human man's penis. Perhaps the male equivalent to whatever species this chick was, comes equipped with protection from such a frightening orifice. She had horrible acne, all over her face and body. Acne that was clearly not pus, but little ounces of her self esteem and overall happiness bubbling to the top of her skin, before being popped out ever so slowly onto a mirror, which i'm sure she hasn't been able to look at since clinton was in office.

Now at first i was apprehensive, i was scared to approach this thing. I wasn't sure if she could be dangerous. But the little chinese kid working next to her, was clearly over matched by her sheer girth. He and I both knew there was no way he would possible be able to reach the cash register. So i picked up my copy of halo wars, and slowly approached the counter...

Putting on my best smile, i engaged the animal in small talk, hoping to show that i did not mean harm. We talked about different things, things that weren't interesting, things that i now know probably saved my life. But my darkest fears were realized when the conversation started taking a flirty tone. The beast was showing emotion. It had learned from all the years of mimicking humans, and was starting to actually feel real emotion.

Our flirtation continued for a couple minutes. We talked about how i was new to the island, and how she had lived here for 28 years, all the while i was fiddling around my pockets trying to make my phone ring so i could have an easy exit away from this monstrosity. However, once she offered me a free copy of a magazine things took a unique turn.

"here, take this game informer, it has a cool article about the console wars," the titantic said.

"oh, I already have that one, " I lied, not wanting the monster to think i owe her anything.

"Just take it," she said, "leave one in the bathroom, that's what i do."

Once she said this, she must have known from the look in my face, that i was now envisioning her going number two while reading game informer. I cannot describe the look on my face, as i was not privy to it. I assume it was similar to the people of hiroshima, the day they were taken forever. That was the fear, but there was also rage. I was angry she would make me see that. Also confusion, as i was not entirely sure where this abomination shat out of. Maybe the rectum, but who knows when you are dealing with wildlife such as this.

As i stare at her, speechless, she blushed. Her cheeks got red, the zits on her cheeks got redder. Maroon if you will. She turned around to grab the bag, and lingered there for a while. She was fearful to look at my face again. It was during this moment, that something came over me. I've been in love once, and this felt similar. My pants became tighter as an erection slowly formed under my boxers. I felt powerful. I had made this monster sad, and i wanted to take it back. I couldn't be cruel. My humanity wouldn't allow me. My humanity was saying take care of this creature. It meant you no harm, yet you destroyed it, with a single look. My humanity made me want to tell that little Chinese kid to get lost, and bang the beejesus out of loch ness right there.

But i didn't, i simply took my bag once she finally gave it to me, turned around and walked away. I opened the door to gamestop, and the hot Hawaiian air hit my skin. I rolled my shirt sleeve up to look at my body, because after interacting with that human, i could be the real monster.